GOD ; Conjurer's of Lies, False hopes and Dreams

2008-09-01T02:46:00.000-07:00

I'm sorry I didn't mean to blog
but I couldn't fight it
I guess I was weak and couldn't even hide it
and so I surrender just to let you know how I feel.

I don't know what happened
How it turned out like that.

It started by sms-ing coldly, ended with you deciding not to reply me

I guess you've found the one for you somehow.
or maybe just realized that there was another man your heart has.
It must be that joke I made! All I ever tried was to joke with you so that
we could somehow bring down barrier between us.
Not seeing me trying my best
That's what I was trying to do
The stupid things just to have you notice another side of me.
Guessed I have failed. Forever condemned like the Angel of Hell
Its okay , once in a lifetime means there's no second chance.
But was I given a chance at all
Its okay.
I get the hint. Nor would I want to pester you any longer ,
you know I am not that kind of man
But there's something ma lady you need to know
that deep inside me, this is killing me
I know I've failed but I've loved you from the start

I know I ain't a perfect person,
there's many things I wish I didn't do
I have made mistake , but I am just a man
but it could happen to anyone.
I continue learning, trying to be better.
but I guess you put an end to it
Not allowing me to be the one to catch your tears
from my lonely gaze
your picture fades
in a misty haze

You were the reason for me to change who I used to be
My hope and reason to start over new.
but just like my heart .
that hope shattered like glass
the sands of time
moving way too fast

I can let a few tears out and cry every once in a while
That is what I am doing right now ; Silently
Even though knowing that you will still be another guy still upsets
But that's not what gets me

What hurts is having so much to say.
with you never knowing
And even till the very end.
You would still fucking think that I ain't serious.
I have no feelings?
take a look in the mirror
maybe it will help you
to see what is clear

No I am not crazy,just a little unwell in the mind.

There was the date you promised but never happened
There was the flyer ticket that I am going to tear, cause it was meant for you initially and you only
or seeing you hang the toy on the phone
And the feedback for the chocolates!!
And the flower that is going to rot
Oh how about our song nan ren nu ren. Ha ,Why am I still thinking about stuffs like that.
I know those little things meant little to you. I held on dear to them because you're special to me

I tried to forget every single thing you said
Believe that love is an illusion
But I can never forget your smile.
The thing to that tell me its all worthwhile at the end of the day.

If any future guys ever comes to this blog and too is in love with her.
Well
She's in love with purple or so it seems.
If you like her , you would know that she loves chocolate.
She has lots of friends, thus apart from her work, there is a likely chance she will meet her friend rather than you then
Guess what she is thinking, cause she wouldn't tell.
She is independent. She feeds herself and if you try to yang her she would probably say "wo bu yao kao nan ren"
I guess she's looking for responsibility and maturity in a guy.
Don't forget ketchup.
Spicy stuff is a strict no-no
She would probably crumble if there was no lemon tea
She may sound fine and everything , but if you listen closely, you would know that she's actually going through a lot everyday.
then again like I said, Don't ask , she would never tell , just support her eh.
Oh and she can't tahan lateness!
Oh and she has STM. At times she will forget what she told you before, so don't get taken aback if you hear the same thing twice or thrice , on the other hand if you told her about it, and she would start laughing. Sadly I have seen her laugh less then 5 times

If there were problems , you would never talk to me
You might think I am bothering you by meeting you after work.
To think about it. If I don't do it. How can I see you. Your off days are for friends.
And if I weren't wrong , you already had plans for sept 2 or 3 somehow, and I am not included in the plan. I know.
Its not that I am begrudging whatsoever
But I have been bottling up for months

Its fucking unfair. I know I am someone who can you do with/without. Thats why its okay when I think yea proably you have gotten used to it and so I will wait for my chance. A chance where you will show some appreciation. Just a little was all I hope
Nope.
You would only reply when you're free
Apart from the afterwork meet up. We only met up twice, one for dinner and one for lunch, with both times only me some sort eating .
I'm not the man your heart is missing,
There were days when I would planned an outings but it would just be brushed aside by your class or friend outings again. I have grown nonchalant to it. Fearing you would be guilty again. Even though I knew if you had choice, you would still pick your friends instead.

I never asked for much. In fact I have never asked anything from you.
All I ever did was joke about waking up early even though I know you were tired.
How ironical.
I tried to make you laugh , but instead it made you hated me.

Fuck yourself Kingston.
Love is just an Altruism

This is going to be last time I blog for myself, for her. but I would never close it.
Cause it ended with me loving her.
And that's how it's going to be eh.

Axistz. I wait . It would never end
Cause I have been around the world ; seen so many girls , but none can compare to you cause I can't take my mind off you

So you stole my world
Now I'm just a phony
Remembering the girl
Leaves me down and lonely

And it may take some time to
Patch me up inside
But I can't take it so I
Run away and hide
And I may find in time that
You were always right
You're always right

write it in a blog
Make myself feel better

2008-08-24T22:21:00.000-07:00

Last time you talked to me
I was lonely and out of place

I know you're looking down on me
Lost out and spaced

Now I hope you think of me
When I ain't there to walk beside you
I'm praying we don't burn out
or let this fade away

waiting for your sign.
I'm waiting for the sky to fall
You gotta save my tired soul

I know you're the star that I cant see
the star that I can't reach
Cause
You're falling out of reach

Well I know
I know

you're falling out of reach

I know....

2008-08-22T13:48:00.000-07:00

I had almost lost hope
But you reminded me today
Why I had held on
Could this be the start

I'll be there when the world stops turning
I'll be there when the storm is through
In the end
It's you I want to be with

2008-08-22T01:37:00.000-07:00

You told me that there is so much things we want to tell others.
But we keep it in our heart, probably thinking and hoping that one another can guess what we're feeling inside. It's really tiring to go on with this guessing game.
Please shed some light soon

You told me you needed time
Perhaps those were the same words you exactly told the others.
I thought I was special to you in a way.
Come to think of it ; Why am I?
You think its like a game to me.
But it seems I am the one twirling around your palm right now.
You wouldn' tell
I can only guess.
I need to know, if what you're feeling
is the same as what I am.

Really.

2008-08-22T01:27:00.000-07:00

Maybe its her eyes
Maybe its her height..
Maybe its the way she make me smile even thou I am down..
Maybe its the way my mind just thinks about her..
Maybe its how my face blushes when I talk to her..
How I get nervous when she's around

I am taking my time to know her.
I know I have sorted out my feelings already
So I truly hope she will notice me somehow.
That I am different from the other guys

Down once more

2008-08-19T10:20:00.000-07:00

Down once more to the dungeon of my black despair!
Down I plunge into the prison of my mind!
Down that path into darkness deep as hell!

Why you ask, was I bound and chain in this cold and dismal place
Not for any mortal sin
but the wickedness of my abhorrent mind.

Have I gorged myself at last, in my lust for blood?
And now I prey for the lust for flesh
Pity comes too late

This haunted face holds no horror
It's in my soul that the true distortion lies ...

Order your fine horses now!
Raise up your hand to the level of your eyes!

Farewell my fallen idol and false friend ...
We had such hopes and now
Those hopes are shattered!
Too late for turning back, too late for prayers and useless pity!

Say you love him and my life is over
All hope of cries for help; no point in fighting!
... the final threshold...

swear to me never to tell
The secrets you know of the angel in hell
Say you'll share with me, one love, one lifetime...
Say the word and I will follow you...
Share each day with me, each night, each morning...

You alone can make my song take flight -

This holiday

2008-08-19T09:58:00.000-07:00

This holiday consist of 3 weeks
A week consist of 7 days.
Out of 7 days, 4 days I am working
out of the 3 days that I am not working
There is a day you might end early too

Then I realised...
You had friends too.

The only glimpse i have of seeing you, I guess is only before and after your work then.
*shrugs*

Meaning of a girlfriend

2008-08-14T13:25:00.000-07:00

What is a girl friend?
Addition of problems, subtraction of money,
Multiplication of enemies & division of friends.

But still ,
If you would be mine.
I wouldn't mind :)

A x I s T z

2008-08-12T19:30:00.000-07:00

Cause when I find the one I'll know
You're the heart inside my soul
You're the one that looks at me and gives
the motivation to go on
There's a place it all begins
Where together never ends
And the more we are the more we
feel the same
One true flame

If only you would allow me to take your hand.
zhen..

A simple movie

2008-08-11T01:13:00.000-07:00

Prelude :
It was really heart aching to know that if I didn't messaged you , you would have headed home, while I wander aimlessly in the crowds of orchard watching couples and friends alike. amidst in that crowd, I was hoping, to perhaps see you walking.

Then ....

So I managed to meet you somehow, and the trip to your house was even faster then the previous workplace you were in!
It was still early , I suggested supper , but you declined and I thought I should just be hao ren and allow you to go home instead, since you were intending to go home yourself already, and it was because I "ne si" (kept insisting) then you perhaps bo pian meet me or something.

But ...

You decided to turn the other direction from your home , I was really glad. Though my facial expression didn't really show it. And regardless if it was just because you didn't want to go home early or in a way "pity" me or something. I was just glad I got to spend more time with you.
If you didn't realize . That day was the first time we joked with one another regarding the "KFC don't open 24 hour "
A few more mins of walk and in a way we decided to catch a movie.
Funny as it seems. Our first movie was to be at "Princess" And again I apologise for a shabby first date.
Upon reaching there, you constantly reminded me about the time. And somehow I feel that perhaps maybe you didn't want to watch this movie with me , but perhaps with others.
Thus I allowed you the choice to make the decisions to allow you some lee way, and perhaps make me feel better if we watched the movie cause this time " it wasn't me who kept insisting"

We decided to watch the movie after all, but my inferior self sets in again and a voice in my head told me.
To me, most of the jokes were quite original and there were some I laughed , but I didn't laughed when the Mum was about to passed away, probably because I grew up from a single parent family , and somehow I was afraid that one day my mother would leave me.
Okay enough of that emo shit!
Somehow I think I finished the whole pack of fries myself!

Conclusion :
So after the movie, I walked you home and decided to walk home from there to save myself of the fare uh!
Hah. The walk home was lonely in a way, and you didn't zi dong call me, pei me. Oh well. I know you don't do stuffs like that , with me perhaps.
But I went home with smiles on my face again. Just like how every time I would after seeing you.

Now.
Currently your sms seemed so cold eh. Maybe you are tired.

I know the barrier's still there , and perhaps in your heart. Some other guys have already claimed it.
Thus I can only wait.

2008-08-10T00:57:00.000-07:00

I can see from your eyes that you're scared
I can see that you aren't prepared to be in love
with me yet.
Cause you have been through enough
and it isn't easy to let go just yet
There is something holding you back from loving me

But Girl
Someday you will see that my love for you is true
Someday you will see that I ain't like the others
Someday you will see that we can make it through
And you will know All that I need is You

My friend say
Its Stupid
Your friend say
Don't waste your time
They obviously had no idea how serious I am with you
So please don't allow them to get into your head.
Use your heart and not your eyes
Don't give up just yet

But Girl
Someday they will see that my love for you is true
Someday they will see that I ain't like the others
Someday they will see that we can make it through
And they will know All that I need is You :)

Still.. we need somewhere to begin
When will you let me into your heart
Before I fall apart
We don't need to too far
I don't ask for too much
Let's just hold on to where we are
If my love is real
I'll wait till i make it true

I know you need time
That's why I am holding on

Why not start now
Let me in

And Girl
Someday we will see that my love for you is true
Someday we will see that I ain't like the others
Someday we will see that we can make it through
And we will know All that I need is You:)

P.S. : "z T s I x A - tiawI"

Confused

2008-08-07T11:15:00.001-07:00

Some days I feel so close.
Like we are more than just friends.
But then the next day you seemed so far
Perhaps ' we had never met.

Like a roller coaster ride my heart turns upside down
At times we looked at each other in the eye but yet we don't utter a sound
Confused with my heart being torn as it seams
Every night . somehow ; you seemed to linger in my dreams
It's you my heart has sought.
And I try to forget all my thoughts

Each time I hoped It turns into something bad
So for right now I'll stop thinking and wait for you in silent and perhaps things won't turn out so bad.

Her

2008-08-03T23:22:00.000-07:00

Smiles and her laughter
It's the only thing that I have been waiting for a time.
Regardless of our distance
my hope grows greater
Trapped by her pretty eyes for all time
The only thing that I have been waiting for

Iknowitssomethingworththewaiting
Cause she's the only one that my thought feel real
Thunderstorms could never stop me
Cause there is no one in the world like Her.

She's simple yet confusing
Her sparkling eyes makes me weak at my words, they tremble!
Days seems like years in this month of July.
The night coldens me for I have yet to sleep.
And never will I give up trying cause you're everything to me

Iknowitssomethingworththewaiting
Cause she's the only one that my thought feel real
Thunderstorms could never stop me
Cause there is no one in the world like Her.
There is no in the world like you.

A mild ghostly experience

2008-08-03T00:50:00.000-07:00

For years! I have tried my best to get in touch with the supernatural existence by either walking darker alleys, haunted storerooms and even Punggol white house and the infamous OCH!

None . I have actually had 0 encounters with anything to prove they exist.
However yesterday , just as I had last expected it.
I encountered my very first supernatural experience.

I was intending to get a shower after returning home kind of late at around 2 plus in the morning.

I went into the bathroom and there was a flying "thing" around me and I thought it was a moth.
when it landed, it turned out to be a COCKROACH!

Putting that aside , I proceeded with battling with this pesky pests. By projecting quick and sharp water jets coming from my water hose. Somehow , the cockroach seemed unaltered. It moved steadily around and the next thing I knew it. It disappeared right in front of my eyes.

Yes. It couldn't have flied. I am sure to see it. He couldn't have his in any secret spot, cause I used water to penetrate through any holes possible for the cockroach to hide.

Then it came upon me. Its the lunar 7th month now.
But disguising itself as a cockroach?

How original!

If I am able to reach beyond the sorrow

2008-07-30T12:45:00.000-07:00

If I am able to reach beyond the sorrow
I won't need warmth , nor tomorrow anymore

The dream that came into the darkness of silence
who ? Is the light that briefly spilled onto my cheeks
Why ? not knowing any means to put an end to the fragile world
I was just wishing ...
Perhaps
Yes , for oblivion

If I am able to reach beyond the sorrow
I will not need to feel anything beyond this anymore

Will you return , beyond the despair
As the supreme love.. lays its pure body on the endless sails;

If I am able to reach beyond the sadness
I won't fear even the lonely slumber anymore....

The problem with Cbox

2008-07-30T12:28:00.000-07:00

The Problem with Cbox is that , anyone could come in here , type the name they want and post whatever they want here , Recently , there is this one person who is annoying me greatly and its this fake "kingston" lurking around my CBOX.

By the way fake "kingston" I don't use the word "u" I use "you." Please try try try harder in imitating me , I mean seriously , I don't mind you using the name Kingston too. If you're not , and your real name is called Kingston too! Well , Please do not disgrace that name eh! :)

AND AND AND! I have a habit of using capital letters after every FULL STOP . EXCLAMATION MARK! AND QUESTION MARK ?

2008-07-24T00:22:00.000-07:00

It's the heart that fears the breaking, that never learns to dance
It's the dream afraid of waking, that never allow me the chance.
It's the one who do not want to be taken, who cannot seem to give.
And the soul afraid of dying, who never learns to live.

When you think that only the lucky will find the one who treat them right
And that love is just a razor that will leaves your soul to bleed eventually.

Just remember, that even a seed beneath the bitter snows
Even with the Sun's love
In the spring become the rose.

Love is a flower and you its only seed.

King of Kings

2008-07-15T11:34:00.001-07:00

Behold the King, the King of Kings.
On your knees dog. All hail.

Bow down to the, bow down to the King.
Bow down to the, bow down to the King.

The King grinned red as he walked from the blaze,
Where the traitor lost both his name and his face.
Through the halls and the corridors stinging in blood,
He tasted his grin and it tasted good.
The King took his head. Left him broken and dead.

Bow down to the, bow down to the King.
Bow down to the, bow down to the King.
Bow down to the, bow down to the King.

The King left none living, none able to tell.
The King took their heads and he sent them to hell.
Their screams echoed loud in the place of their death.
Ripped open they died. With their final breath.
They hailed to the King, the King of Kings.

Bow down to the, bow down to the King.
Bow down to the, bow down to the King.
Bow down to the, bow down to the King.

Into the dirt, his will be done.
Now feel your fear, there can be only one.

Bow down, bow down, bow down to the ...
Bow down, bow down, bow down, bow down to the ...
Bow down, bow down to the...
Bow down to the, bow down to the King.
Bow down to the ...
Bow down, bow down, bow down.

The King is here, now feel your fear.
The King of Kings.

All hail, all hail the King.
On your knees, on your knees for the King.

A Big Bullshit?

2008-07-14T11:13:00.000-07:00

When it comes to bullshit
We have to stand in awe!
In the name of falsehood and all that is not true.
the Gosu mama of bull shit

RELIGION

Think about it, religion has managed to convince so many people that there is actually an invisible man living in the sky, who watches everything that we do, every hour every minute everyday.
And this invisible man has an invisible list of TEN things that we cannot do (the Ten Commandants)

And If we breach it , there is this special place that he will send us to full of fire, smoke, pain , suffering, agony, anguish ,despair and all that is bad to burn , to choke , to scream and to cry to live forever till the END OF TIME.

BUT then again....

He Loves you !!!! <3

But He needs MONEY!
He is all powerful
He is all mighty
All wise
But somehow, he just can't handle money?

Religion are collecting over billions of dollars and yet they need pay no TAXES =D

Now talk about a good bullshit story!
HOLY SHIT

It's been awhile.

2008-07-05T14:36:00.000-07:00

It was late.
He was late.
And the dreaded cab fare was looming with fate.
Then like an angel she said.
"Lets take the bus instead"

The journey was long.
But not long enough for him.
His heart yearns to see her pretty face
But his eyes shuns shyly away.
He told her to smile.
She said NO.
Yet ironically she was smiling instead.
;The sweetest thing he had seen in his life.
Stories exchanged,
Till the dreaded stop arrived.
The man had hoped
; Let the leg journey be long perhaps.

The journey was short.
His job was done.
To see her home safe and sound.

And now
His own journey has begun.
With smiles, back to his hometown.
And never had he regretted once.
For he would give up everything just to relive that night.
He thought to himself.
Its been awhile.
since he felt this way.
; Hasn't it?

The Loneliness saga continues...

2008-07-02T10:41:00.005-07:00

Loneliness is an emotional state in which a person experiences a powerful feeling of emptiness.
Its more than the feeling of wanting company or wanting to do something with another person.
Loneliness is a feeling of being cut off.
People don't know how to handle the loneliness. Many of us turn to sex. A momentary release, a touch we can pretend is loving if it's not.

I guess thats the phase I might be going through. Well not as serious as those mentioned above.
But I ain't looking forward to days after days.
Well its practically the same yeah
I mean I know I do have great handsome friends around me from time to time
Perhaps I have been to accustomed to having a lady by my side.
Thus a side of the heart is still reserved for that sole purpose only!

On the other hand. I have grown accustomed to leading a single life and rejecting girls already.
Hahahahahaa.

However thinking about the past, it sometimes drives me insane, it kills and I am going to rank it as one of the EVIL in the world.
And looking at friends around happily attached makes me feel weird around.
It was like I used to have it but I chose to give it up for what i thought " a better life " ironically life has turned bitter.

P.S. Haven't it been quite some time I really blogged for myself rather than songs or poems!

My fair Lady

2008-06-30T09:47:00.001-07:00

Thou came into my life
with understanding and taught me love
Thou came into my heart
with a force that could not be of this world,
Thou came into my soul
like a warm wind of a summer's day
Thou brought with thee joy and peace as I had never known
Thee hold me heart, trembling and submissive to thy will
And I am thy's forever.

So then, when will my fair lady come and make me feel this way.
It has really been a lonesome 5 months for me

Mmh...

2008-06-30T09:47:00.000-07:00

Sanguine Smile 微笑

2008-06-29T10:25:00.000-07:00

Late through the night
My mind wander with you in my sight

Staring into space
unknowingly your smile appears in my head.

Not a chance
No point trying
you said

Then why so I wonder am I still holding on?
Not letting go

In the dark
Everything seems like a movie
with you smile trembling my heart and leading every scene , every memory

Again and again , your sanguine smile appears in my mind.
Heaven knows.
How infatuated I am with you
Again and again , your sanguine smile appears in my mind
No, I can't erase it off mind.
Well , thats good too.
You never knew
How in love I am with you.

Late through the night
My mind wander with you in my sight

Staring into space
unknowingly your smile appears in my head.

Not a chance
No point trying
you said

Then why so I wonder am I still holding on?
Not letting go

In the dark
Everything seems like a movie
with you smile trembling my heart and leading every scene , every memory

Again and again , your sanguine smile appears in my mind.
Heaven knows.
How infatuated I am with you
Again and again , your sanguine smile appears in my mind
No, I can't erase it off mind.
Well , thats good too.
You never knew
How in love I am with you.

Mmhhhhh...
How can I let you know.
that this is really how in love I am with you.

I know you got a boyfriend

2008-06-28T12:36:00.000-07:00

i'm sorry for me bugging you still
sorry for being such a fool
god knows i've tried but i can't let go
i'm crazy 'bout you know who

i'm sorry for me needing you still
sorry girl that you don't feel it too
i get the point, should be a man about it
i've never been good at that - no no

forgive me for being me
i've tried to let go

i know you got a boyfriend - another man
another guy by your side
someone who I know treats you right
but you don't know how much i wish that i was
your boyfriend - that other guy
the only one who's allowed
in your room to lay in your arms at night
now you don't know how much i wish that i was your boyfriend

i'm sorry for me wanting you
sorry for not playing by the rules
but what would you do if you were in my shoes
feeling lost and blue mmh...

i'm sorry for me lovin' you
sorry for being such a fool

another man is by your side
i know he treats you right
i wish i was the only one
to lay in your arms at night
well you can't blame a guy for trying
now what else can i do
and how i wish that my prayers, thoughts and dreams
become REALITY

Betrayal

2008-06-18T23:09:00.000-07:00

I sought to be true
true to myself
and true to those loyalty
that affirmed me

The time has come to bear
the aftermath of betrayal
Is this now my test?
My lesson?

I felt punches, kicks and weapons hurled at me
that I once thought belonged
only to the enemy of ours.
I can now see that you have
no heart
no honor
no shame
no decency
no respect
no faith

I hear that
you're not
honest
trustworthy
considerate
injurious
selfish
yet still..
I trusted you.

Those images,
Those words
they ring in my ear
Stuck in my head
Sicken my heart.

But I have learned
that hurt
can be caused
by those you trust
This I have experience
but never again.

I live to grow
but I am not perfect
nor do I seek nor desire perfection
I listen
to the lessons from the wind
I transform
the pain of the past to light

For so very long.
I thought you friends were true
but the journey has returned to me
The child, the warrior
the wizard, the sage
I walk a new path now

You may continue
and hurl stones of accusation
I am traveling beyond your reach
rising above your grasp
never to return.

The Call : Regina Spektor

2008-06-10T19:00:00.000-07:00

FIRST TIME I HAVE DONE THIS .
I AM RECOMMENDING A SONG!!

YES
The Call by Regina Spektor

Its from the movie
Chronicles of Narnia 2 : Prince Caspian

Even the movie is super good!!!
4/5 stars!!
two thumbs up ( 3 if I really had 3 thumbs)
hahahahaha!

It started out as a feeling
Which then grew into a hope
Which then turned into a quiet thought
Which then turned into a quiet word

And then that word grew louder and louder
'Til it was a battle cry

I'll come back
When you call me
No need to say goodbye

Just because everything's changing
Doesn't mean it's never
Been this way before

All you can do is try to know
Who your friends are
As you head off to the war

Pick a star on the dark horizon
And follow the light

You'll come back
When it's over
No need to say good bye

You'll come back
When it's over
No need to say good bye

Now we're back to the beginning
It's just a feeling and now one knows yet
But just because they can't feel it too
Doesn't mean that you have to forget

Let your memories grow stronger and stronger
'Til they're before your eyes

You'll come back
When they call you
No need to say good bye

You'll come back
When they call you
No need to say good bye

P.S. Beautiful lyrics , don't you people agree, I assure you , the voice is even sweeter. (:

To : Those that I have once held so Dear

2008-06-08T15:41:00.000-07:00

School's Holiday are here , which means late nights which mean more emo-ing period at night.
no - no not those period that girl have but phases which makes you lie in bed and thinks about stuff.

And of course its only right for guys to think about girls, which eventually leads to my ex-es.

Oh well ;

Since you're gone
Well it seems like everything is wrong
And deep inside I know
That I've lost not only pride
but a best friend, a confidante.
Happiness is getting further away from me.
Girl I miss you more than words can say.

Losing you
Well , it's the hardest and stupidest thing to do
So I close my eyes every night and tell myself
that somehow through it all , I will survive
You gave me heaven,
Then I gave it away
Girl I miss you more with each passing day

And it's sad cause I know you won't be coming back to me
Just so you can be yourself.
And I know I can't change your mind.
And no I won't force to make you mine
Perhaps I didn't love you more than life itself

Moving on, you already had
Moving on, I too should have
With those words you said to me.
P.S. I know I shouldn't Love You, Like I did ; Yesterday.

2008-06-07T06:14:00.000-07:00

An abstract of what I have seen on 5/6/08 5th of June 2008 ; Time - 12 - 4 am

Its' head begins to spin
As it grooves to the Music beat
"na , na - na na na" ; or " want some pussy , never lick it "
Its eye begins to waver.
With intention to kill.
Its was as strong as a bull
yet as frail as water itself.
Illusion sets in , and The Devil begins to set into his mind
Playing his lovely trick on the poor little thing's eyes.
At times he was invincible
At times he was a mouse.
OH the joy , the ecstasy in it.
Distorted and Disoriented he was.
Disheartened and misunderstood I am.

2008-06-01T04:34:00.000-07:00

I can feel the poison rising tonight
Out of the morning and clear through the night
I can feel your strength destroy me
Straight to the heart from the venomous smile.

I can't regret , cant escape
Decisions I made myself , no control
Passion they burns but never dies
Wrapped around , I'm trapped inside.

Making my way in the night, you're still in my mind
running away cause you know you ain't mine
to me you're the bearer of fate
Wrong place and now Wrong Time , Despair is all I find.

I can feel the poison rising tonight
straight to the heart from the venomous smile
I can feel the poison rising tonight
Out of the morning and clear through the night
I can feel your strength destroy me
Straight to the heart from the venomous smile.

I can't regret , cant escape
Decisions I made myself , no control
Passion they burns but never dies
Wrapped around , I'm trapped inside.

They won't make it right
My appetite has grown
Lost my final fight
No Love will be shown

Special one

2008-05-29T23:41:00.000-07:00

Her voice linger stills

Even after they part

Her images fill

All of his heart

Her sanguine smile

Like a larcener

Stole his heart ;

he wonders if she knew

that she is all he's thinking about

How every parting

shatters his heart

And how this man here

yearn for their next tryst ;

The lady belongs to someone,

Not him.

Yet ,

Why is he still feeling this way.

Prayer before you sleep

2008-05-25T14:04:00.000-07:00

And Lead me not into temptation - For I will find it myself.

2008-05-12T11:50:00.000-07:00

I see a distant light.
but maybe it ain't right

And when I think of all the places,
I just don't belong there with them.
I have come to grips with life
And I realize this is going too far!

I don't belong with any of you , I gotta move on,
And escape from all this infatuated madness.
Cause this time I'm right to move on and on
far away from you people!

A place of love and no pain
Perfect skies with no rain.
I can leave now but there is refrain.
Cause you people have been waiting for me.

So out of place , I don't wanna stay!
I feel wrong , and that's my SIGN
I have made up my mind!

Sorry for taking your hand
but realize I just wanna say good bye
Please understand I have to and I want to leave.
And carry on with my own life.

I don't belong with any of you , I gotta move on,
And escape from all this infatuated madness.
Cause this I'm right to move on and on
far away from you people!

Got nothing against you people.
And surely I will miss.
Those hearts full of peace and light.
And I'd hope you might
Let me carry on with my life.

I don't belong with any of you , I gotta move on,
And escape from all this infatuated madness.
Cause this I'm right to move on and on
far away from you people!

P.S. SPECIAL SOMEONE , Please cheer up somehow, I have my own fair share of problems to settle too! But I am here willing to listen to yours!
You know one word from you , and I am willing to stand by it all with you.
If only , there's a chance.

Differences between GUYS & GIRLS

2008-05-11T10:14:00.000-07:00

Some interesting facts I have come across!
Enjoy (:

1. A girl has a larger stomach, kidneys, liver, and appendix than a guy, but she has smaller lungs, thus giving her less breathing capacity than a guy.

2.The right hemisphere of guys’ brains are better developed, therefore they are more visual, mathematic, exploring, more sex oriented, and commit most violent crime. Girls, though, have the left hemisphere more developed and are therefore more verbal, communicative, sensitive, and more prone to phobias and depression.

3. A guy has five items in his bathroom — a razor, shaving cream, a bar of soap, a toothbrush, and towel from Holiday Inn. The average number of items in a typical girl’s bathroom is reported to be as high as 437, the majority of which a guy couldn’t even tell what they are or used for.

4.When a girl says she will be ready in five minutes, she’s using the same meaning of time as when a guy says the football game has just five minutes left to play. Neither the guy nor the girl is counting time-outs, commercials, or replays!

5.Guys don’t decorate their handwriting, they just chicken-scratch. Girls will pull out their scented, color coordinated stationary and use ridiculously large circles, hearts, and loops to finish off their “i’s”, “p’s”, and “g’s.” It is a real hassle to read a letter from a girl. Even when she is dumping a guy, she’ll finish it off with a smiley face at the end!

6.A girl worries about the future until she gets a husband, while a guy never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

7.A girl marries a guy expecting him to change, but he usually doesn’t. A guy marries a girl thinking she will always be the same — and, of course, she isn’t.

8.Girls love cats. Guys say they love cats, but when girls aren’t looking, they kick cats.

I find the last 3 point extremely funny !! and maybe mmh, true? hah!
but 437 ITEMS IN YOUR bathrooms, What the hell man ! GIRLS!
Hah!!

My conclusion : Guys and girls are different. And that’s good.

Time

2008-05-11T09:14:00.000-07:00

Have been working for the past 2 days.

I think time has been playing tricks on me!
Because I fucking swear I have been standing for like an hr!
But the watch shows 20 min (:

Here is the funny part. I have been playing this game in PSP called "Jeanne D'Arc" while working, I complete a stage , 1 - 2 min passes like that IN THE SHOP

I go to the staircase slack , sit and play, 1 stage
5min liao!
Same stage okay!
Wtf mans!

!TIME!
Tick Tock Tick Tock.
Time passes by.
Waving good bye to every second ago.
Not giving you a chance to re-live the moment you had before!
Memories are what TIME leaves behind.
Heartaches and Joys shows us the cruelty of TIME

It tells you that "I wait for no man"
How many have tried to prove it wrong!
But failed.

SOMEONE BUILD A TIME MACHINE PLEASE!

Past the point of no return

2008-05-06T14:12:00.000-07:00

Don Juan.

Probably, The greatest seducer of all time.
And like many others. I too had probably hoped to be the modern "him"

I too understand the fact that each woman's soul is a singular treasure. And it was while growing up in a Single parent family led by my mother that I discovered these riches that few men have the privilege to behold.

After breaking up with my most recent girlfriend who is now what they called an Ex or to me a "memory".

I have pretty much lived like Don Juan.
Getting to know ladies, trying to make them fall in love with me.
Saying sweet nothings like it was drinking water.
And hopefully, in my eyes , they are able to behold what beauty really means.

But a recent heartfelt talk with my close friend JiaHao have revealed the irony I want in life.

What is the use of having the entire world population smitten with me if I don't like any of them?

That is the phase I am going through now I guess. Even with all the temptations around, I have yet to find lady I can relate a love song to. Which is bad.

Noises around me asks me to give this a try.
Consider that one perhaps?

Why cant they see the fact that to me, even though with all the talking and flirting around!
Love ain't just a game for two for me.

Till then.
When will the fair lady come.

2008-04-22T15:03:00.000-07:00

Men
Always
Remember
Love
Because
Of
Romance
Only

Use me as you will

Pull my strings just for a thrill

And I know I'll be ok

Though my skies are turning gray

Cause I know

Love is a losing game

Mas Selamat?

2008-03-31T10:56:00.000-07:00

MAS SELAMAT is the biggest WU - HA in Town Singapore right now.

He is the most popular figure as posters of him are everywhere .
(HDB , BUS , MRT ) Public toilet? haha joking la!

I wouldn't want to get a shock while I was taking a leak anyway.
Great thinking and consideration from our Singapore Government!
Cheers!!
or so it seems. *grins*

Lets see the damage THE ESCAPE OF MAS SELAMAT HAD DONE TO US OBEDIENT SINGAPOREANS

1. Traffic congestion in the Tuas highway
2. More Police patrolling around
3. Accidentally assaulted a kind Malay Man look alike
4. Makes the short and limping fearful they might be misunderstood
5. The public starts to be suspicious of the short and limping

HAHAHA ok!
So where is MAS Selamat?
The Singapore Government don't seem to be able to give us an answer?

Which is weird. Because SINGAPORE and YES SINGAPORE has the best tracking device in the world.
Which means they know I am sitting at home now and typing this post out!
or know you were pcc-ing before you visited this blog!
Lol.

My fellow Singaporeans / Permanent residents!
This is a game that Indonesia is trying to play with Singapore.

I do not think MS (Mas Selamat) is on the run.
In fact I think he is dead already!
How can he be on the run my dear friends.

1. He is limping
2. Behind Whitney Detention Centre is a hill/jungle or what
3. After that, its an expressway!
4. And yes like I said before, Singapore has the best tracking device.

Its all Politics.
MS is a JI leader, Singapore cannot kill him without any evidence.
So they have to come up with this story that he escape less JI attacks us.

And that gives Singapore the right to kill him.
And since MS is a jungle warfare specialist.
He can survive in the jungle for months without food.

So Singapore will have to wait until he is "presumably dead"
and then say they found his body or they shot him down.
then show a decayed short body ,
or a body without face..

P.S. its only been 1 month since his escape, a few more months to go.
Good luck Singaporeans (:

10 signs to see if a girl likes you? mmmh!

2008-02-29T00:47:00.000-08:00

1. she starts to sms you out of no reason
2, She blushes whenever she sees you
3. she ask you to call/talk to her
4. She ask if you could fetch her from work/school
5. She replies every of your sms/most of your sms at least
6. She says ok whenever you ask her out
7. She hints you when she will be free
8. She calls to check why you haven't replied her
9. She smiles at your compliment
10. she might be angry on others but not you for playing the same prank on her

DISCLAIMER : This are merely the opinions of a lonely teenage boy , comments are gladly welcomed (:

Its not the men's fault

2008-02-07T01:54:00.001-08:00

I have been an avid follower of online trends recently and I found out that there is a new TREND in www.friendster.com for singaporeans!!
Yep.
and that is
Tiong xim(Faithful) rocks
Hongster(Flirts) fuck off and die (:

So naturally that just means , Flirts are off the trend now. Girls / Guys are now attracted to faithful people (:

Ok, that just plain stupid. because I have been peering through many "faithful" peeps friendster profile ( Hey I know , I didn't leave a comment" thats another trend already" -.-)

and this is what I found out under the comment page

hello
____ ( a person's name)
____( school)
____( Age)
thanks for adding, intros?

Lol, Plain irony. you said you are "tiong xim" and that "hongster" suck.
In the first place, if you are tiong xim , you would just stick to that whoever person that rejected/love/don't want accept you, and not going around adding strangers.
It reads friendster, not "strangerster" wahahaa.
Ok I admit I am those that once in a while gets itchy hand / bored / "horny" and add those girls up..
hahaha. usually it amounts to nothing. zz
Just another friend in your connection page.
Never talk, Never meet , you don't even know the name except for her profile name , RAHH!

so anyway. Its not a guys fault for liking pretty girls and adding them up / whatever may.
Its proven fact that human prefer attractive people.
It's an implanted thing since you were a baby
and that men prefer having sex then love. I guess

and a study shows this fact
"Studies demonstrate unequivocally that men are far more interested in short-term casual sex than women. In one now-classic study, 75 percent of undergraduate men approached by an attractive female stranger agreed to have sex with her; none of the women approached by an attractive male stranger did. Many men who would not date the stranger nonetheless agreed to have sex with her."

and another study shows this
"Men strive to attain political power, consciously or unconsciously, in order to have reproductive access to a larger number of women"

and lastly a saying I have derived myself.

Men use power to get/have sex
Women have sex to get power (:

Think about it.

hello

2008-02-07T01:52:00.000-08:00

Hello, Kingston is back with its controversial post as usual to entertain you people again (:

Love

2007-10-09T09:55:00.000-07:00

Love is Forever..

Maybe 1 - 2 years down the road.
Love may still be forever.

But what is forever to start off with?
A term used to represent till the end of time.
So when is the end of time?

Love is only forever , For now.

Humans sorry but this is reality.!

Human Nature

2007-07-23T09:48:00.000-07:00

Since the beginning of time . Human Nature have also follow the 3 F laws.

Flesh - which is how to keep one's body alive and safe
Fun - which is what almost everybody want in their life . ; and
Fucking - This I do not think I need to explain.

However bear in mind that the world has evolve into a way that makes us hold responsibility for our owns action . So yes you can say today you feel that killing is fun and you start doing it. Bear in mind that there is responsibility or consequences for doing stuff like this!

There is I feel no such thing as wrongdoing rather , responsibility that comes with these action.

Fucking is also ok! as long as what I have said, they can hold the responsibility that comes with it and as long as both PARTIES CONSENTS! "there can be more than 2 =x"

So now, why embrace religion when they are asking us to do something that is against our human nature. They teach about avoiding temptation and stuff. But seriously, what is wrong. Its always perfectly ALRIGHT as long as nobody is hurt during the process.
They teach us to not hate but forgive and forget and love everyone.

But cmon, admit it! who can love everyone they see!
Who will not hate those who have ill-treated them
Who can actually forget. ( There is no such thing as forgetting in life )

So now, why embrace the unrealistic way of living.
Why delude ourselves.
Why should we conform to what the religion teaches us!

Whatever each religion teach , dun you all think its actually just someone's idea and thinking and not "god" thinking.
I mean come on.
A monk is a ?
A pastor is a?
A pope is a?
A Islam holy man is a?
YES EXACTLY , HUMAN!!

So why are we listening to what they are saying and then thinking its "gods" word.

I mean even I can come in and tell you why we should not betray or lie to our friends etc etc. stuffs., bla bla bla bla bla.!

Come on face reality. There is no god.

The only god , is we human ourselves.

Altruism is just an illusion.

2007-07-16T09:37:00.000-07:00

Going back to what I have write.
There maybe some that start saying

Hey not all Human are selfish!.
Some people really give their all selflessly for others. Mother Theresa or Gandhi for example
I always thought I was those kind of person.
But I am so wrong, I was actually "selfish" all the time I think.
Read on..
Selflessness is really impossible. All human help due to self-interest and not actually the benevolent helping of others

So now there maybe some who argue that some people really just want to help people for the real sake of helping!
However even in this events there is really a motive or sub-reason behind it.

1.The feel-good factor that comes with doing social good results
2.Personal Pride: A person wants to feel good and justify themselves in their thinking of themselves as good, so that by helping others they create their own positive self-identity. In other way boosts self-esteem =D
3.A sometimes secret desire to be seen as good by others (The Goodguy Badge)
4.The Want of Power Over Others: To help others is to confirm ones' own sense of power and control. It also in a way raises your own social value.

The first point.
Point no.1
The following abstract has been scientifically proven

"Those who do good often are addicted to the drugs released in our brains; they do it for the rush even if they don't know it. This isn't a bad thing, of course, the only negative aspect is that they think they do it for the general good when in fact they do it for the neurological high that it brings."
This means that when we do something good. We think we are doing it for the "general good"
the thing is, its actually this hormonal release from our brain and it makes us feel happy thus we want to help others. We are doing it to make ourselves happy. Not for the "general good"

The 2nd point
We actually help others for internal reasons in us

Internal Reasons: Distress, Self-Esteem and Guilt

Distress - This is a psychological factor, now let me ask all of you. How many of you feel good when you see those around you feeling sad, emo and stuffs!, obviously you will feel bad too right. Thus by helping those people and seeing them happy, you will in turn feel happy too and thus also relieve your own psychological distress.

Self-Esteem - Come on admit it. When we help others , we feel useful and good right. This in turns boost self esteem.

Guilt - Guilt is a funny case as it is a persistent or forever emotion embedded in human. Sometimes after doing bad things, people will want to help others to feel less guilty. So in a way. It is actually helping us relieve us of the guilt in us.
This also goes back to the fact that human believes in Karma. And so when they do something bad they feel guilty and the fear of Karma turning against them, they try to do something good to balance this whole karma thing up. This balancing of guilt and good deeds can easily be subconscious which means we may actually not realize it at all!

Studies have also shown that people who have recently done something wrong devote more time, more readily, to helping others

The third point

The Social Reward of the Goodguy Badge

Consciously or unconsciously, people tend to behave in a way that boosts their own social position. Not everyone is good at this, but it is a major part of all Human psychology. Part of our social self-esteem often includes the desire to be seen as socially good. This is human, nobody want to be seen as an evil men right thus many try to be nice and thus create this Goodie Guy Image for them.

Friendship, loyalty, morals and good social behaviour are all selfish investments in the future: In fact, the more daringly selfless the act, the greater these potential rewards appear to be to the subconscious.

the fourth point

The Want of Power Over Others

By helping someone, you are in a way, making yourself feel superior to others. Take for pri . sch for example.
When you are helping another friend who is weak in the subject, don't you at some point of time feel that you are superior to them and because of that they must and will listen to you over this subject.
You are actually imposing a power to them.

Conclusion

Though I may have broken some of your hearts that selflessness is not and will never be try.
Why not think of it this way.
There are bad selfish and good selfish.

Since by helping others you yourself gain benefits too and since by helping you are not harming others. Why not!!

We are programmed in a way to be selfish. But why not try our very best to break through all of this restriction and really help others solely for the "feel good" factor..

You feel good . I feel good why not??
Everyone is happy right =D

Summary

"People do it unconsciously because they don't have the self-reflection to understand their own social behaviour. Sociological investigation uncovers reasons for peoples' good behaviour that they themselves do not know. Because of this, so-called altruism is a "socially complex" behaviour. Sometimes people knowingly do good deeds for the benefit of themselves, but most of the time the underlying selfish motivation is a mystery to the benefactor.
"

Wait alright

2007-07-15T12:58:00.000-07:00

Its getting quite late right now so I will have to sadly continue a post that I am deeply interested in.

There is no such thing as Altruism ( Selflessness ) which means helping others without wanting anything in return.
Is this true?
Hmmm...

Will discussed about it tomorrow.

P.S. I was not avoiding you, it was you all along who did that, I was really on the phone and I do not see the point anyway. I cared and you some sort used me. Maybe you had some ramblings to talk about again maybe you wished I could hear. (You always did when you talked to me ) .THAT WAS YOUR MOTIVE.

Now I know that you ain't really "special" but probably just another selfish or evil human.
Why was I so stupid to fall for it not once , not twice , not thrice not even fourth.
Like I said, no blame is put upon because I understand that almost all human are like that.
I just hoped that I had realized it sooner so I wouldn't be absorbed into this whole maze I have created for myself.
But Hope is just an excuse made up by human. I hope too much till the day I dread.
Never mind. Simple and shallow minds like yours probably would not understand anyway.
It never was in the beginning.

Reincarnation

2007-07-14T20:26:00.000-07:00

This is a post of my previous blog
It was done around 2 years ago
So as you can see doubt of religion have been in my mind since young

Since I was young then , the LaNgUaGe is a bit TwItTy.
So pardon me and read on..

Yesh.. Today readers.. i am gonna write about mi most diverse blog post eva.. mi most daring one up to date.. (jus like the da vinci code)..

I would like to state dat the below post dat i am gonna type meant no offence to buddishm out dere in the world.. pls correct mi if i am wrong .. (tag mi)

so yesh.. it all started when mi mother started visitin temple FREQUENTLY. for some reason. she even spent $80 on a piece of robe. (dose dat monks wear) . omg.. lik hell 80 dollar.. so ex. enuff last mi for months sia. so yeps. continue. and she started bringin books back. u kno dose books dat talk about buddishm, reincarnation and karma etc de. sho yesh.

i am gonna pin point out one part reincarnation.. personally i tink dis does not happen .. I am gonna list mi reasons belows.

1. dey say dis life is a reflect of wat u were in past lives.. dat means. if u were mean to others in ur past live.. in dis life. u will owaex get bulli at etc.. u get wat i mean.. okie .. so if eventualli everyone get bullied and when they reincarnate. dey become good person.. HOW MANI ARE THERE TO GO ARND.
as in u frm mean --> to get bullied at ---> good life.. good person

so if everyone gets to last stage .. hu will be mean. and hu will get bullied. hmmm. u get mi point..

2. Humans if dey do wrong ting will kena banished into 18th lvl of hell.. or wat de.. For goodness sake.. HUMAN POPULATION IS INCREASIN. so if for example everyting works arnd reincarnation.. and for each century. 100th person goes to the 18th lvl. dere shuld be a decrease instead of increase rite =x

3. It has been scientifically proven dat b4 humans are born . dier cells are actualli frm the wriggly sperm and the egg frm the woman.. okie so i assume we are sperm first.. hell we reincarnate as sperm??!?!? wat the.. and yesh during Intercourse. (now u are readin rite heh) billions of sperms is released .. and onli one or two at the most 8 fertilise the egg.. wat about the rest. dey go back to hell to reicarnate as sperm again? and yesh .. guys dat pcc (for girls hu dunno wat is pcc ask ur stead or boy friends ... for boys hu dunno wat is pcc. u can go fuck urself) .. okie. . so during this time. got a lot of sperm come out.. knn afta dey come out.. die go back hell again?. i dun get itx =X... provided we are egg den when we reincarnate.. dat means we die every 1 month.. WTF!!. dis is insane..

okie. the above statements i made are just part of mi thinkin and corrections are welcome.. thank you for reading and pls dun report mi to the police...

The Ten Commandments.

2007-07-14T10:11:00.000-07:00

This post was inspired by the great George Carling , (or however it is spelled). It is ming who introduced me to him.

Anyway. enough talk. This is about George's view of why the Ten Commandment is crap! and I would have to agree.
Read on

The Origin

So the Ten Commandment was made when some men Went up into some mountains where no one was around and then GOD came and spoke to them and told them of some rules that they must follow OR ELSE , they will burn in these never ending pits of fire and sufferings which is known as what we call "Hell"
So they came down from the mountain and told these ingenious people what "God" has told them and they believed!
Why. Because unlike us 21st century people . Not many had the power or dares to doubt which once again makes them mindless sheep that just follows.

So why Ten not Nine or eleven or anything?
This is because 10 is like what many say a MARKETING Number!. Imagine if i said the 8 commandment the 12 commandment? Come on who would give a shit right .
Whereas 10 sounds OFFICIAL! Don't you people agree!

So what are the ten commandments.
The ten commandment are based just on my memories but the idea is there.

Thou shall always obey your Lord
Thou shall not misuse the "Lord's" name
Thou shall not have any fake or false idol before the God
Thou shall keep the Sabbath Holy
Thou shall always respect your parents.
Thou shall not steal
Thou shall not kill
Thou shall not commit adultery
Thou shall not Lie
Thou shall not covet others belonging.

The first four commandment includes words like " God , Lord . Sabbath Holy , " OooOO creepy words, attack the heart of these ingenious people. So what? Any meaning ? No. so now we are left with only 6.
Now lets look at thou shall not covet. I mean what crap is this. If there is no coveting in the world. The Economy will have long be dead.! Coveting boosts economy, so now we are left with only 5.

Now if we look like at Thou shall not Steal, commit adultery and Lie, don't they just means the same thing . its asking us human to be honest! So we should combine these 3 into just 1 commandment which is

Thou shall always be Honest =D

Thou shall always honor your parents. I do agree with this one, depending on what type of parents you have! I have a loving mother and I shall always honor her.!

so now we only have the last commandment to deal with

Thou shall not kill!
This is senseless too, in any country, Death sentence are carried out everywhere anywhere. So why can they kill? So what does this mean? Killing can be subjective depending who , what why he is killed. Is this the case? It seems to be so.

Thus .
I feel this is if there is any how the commandment should be.

The Three commandment
Thou shall always be honest
Thou shall always honor your parents if they are deserving
Thou shall always make killing subjective, depending on who , and why is killed.

Still I would have to give my thumbs up for those people who have managed to come out with this in those civilization
Sorry. That's in the past. Us 21st "centurian" will not fall for that

If there was God

2007-07-14T06:11:00.000-07:00

Face it, If there was god. He would have come down to send judgments to "Terrorists"
If there was god , he would have gotten the world a new American President
If there was god, he would have kept us safe from natural disaster.
If this is the so called "Test" for us , so? hmm people that died during the 9/11 or Tsunami deserved it. Oh no!
Each and everyone of them HAD THEIR OWN FAMILY!
So this makes what?
Killing subjective for Gods? Please for fuck sake.
No.
There is no God.

We are God in our own way, because we must come to terms that it was actually this great mind of ours that actually created god.

We are living in a world of Logic!. If you go to church and you can "feel" God, its because your mind allow it to happen. There! Its the mind again.

The power of the brain and mind far surpasses what we can expect. Do not let these "God" hinder us from realizing our true potential. Do not follow or listen like a blind mice!

Break through from these shell only than will you realize that "God" has always been a weakness to us all .

The Greatest weakness of all is not knowing your own weakness!

So if there is anything greater than God. It is our own inner mind!

First thing First

2007-07-14T05:50:00.000-07:00

For those who have read my description.
Please do not use your like so conceited mind to think that I am turning evil because of Satanism

Satanism in Hebrew itself means being the opposer!
thus the name , anyway Satanism sounds cool right ? i mean who would give a fuck if its called the Opposism. Satanism is a marketing name!
It does not mean the Devil or anything
I am a atheist which means I do not believe in God , or anything , so Devil don't come into play too thank you =D
Since I do not believe in it , After life and shit does not come into play too . So there is only 1 live in us. Live it to the fullest. Live it for yourself and not for others.

Thus I am not worshiping Satan or anything rather using Satan as a embodiment of how life should be.
Satan was never evil (What is evil anyway. Evil and Good have always been subjective) , Satan was just proud and doubtful. Which is how we should live. Be proud of yourself and always be in doubt and ponder to anything we hear. Believing anything heard is just a sign of weakness.

Which great discovery did not start with the power of doubt.! it was newton doubt on why apple fall instead of flying that we found out gravity.
Doubt has always been a source of STRENGTH

So like I said, this blog is just about how life should be and how I am gonna share why we should live for ourselves and why there is no such thing as God.

Why

2007-07-14T05:49:00.000-07:00

Some may ask Why I have started on this Blog

Its to thank those people who have made use of me for who I am
Listening to useless ramblings when you need someone to talk to
Throwing me away when you dun need me already.

My Question to you "people"-
Was I even a friend to you?
These questions always etched in my mind like a scar that will never leave for quite some time

I thought that maybe some day you would realize that and really treat me as a friend.
But nope, you found it convenient because I was free.
Fuck it.

Thanks for using me and throwing me away and picking me up when you need me again

I am not blaming you , instead thanking you
because its you that make me realize that
I should live for myself first!
I was stupid to have been used back then
Stupidity is a sin that just leads to sadness

Thus
This is how life should be.